Princess3shuxian’s Weblog

One of the least fruitful hols so far, spend so much time getting into and out of trouble.. hmm.. 1 october is coming, and it reminded me of my failed com serv project.. feeling a bit dejected..

hmm.. dun feel like laying a finger on anything now.. so many things had been going on my CCA life tat i seem to have the motivation (have my passion burnt up??).. from the stupid scolding by the fsc to the poly forum incident.. i seem to have really lost motivation to give my best in wat i do for the club.. or probably jus develop an unknown fear for doing things.. i try to take it easy and forget, but somehow i jus get over the incident.. everything seem so delicate to me.. i really dunno who can i depend on, or even jus who to turn to or even trust.. the situation is to me so precarious.. somehow i jus feel like running away.. really taking off n run… i jus dun even feel like turning up for any meetings.. excuses for all, some might think.. but i am jus not as confident as before..so not confident to face the future, but yet many reserve and ppl jus keep popping into my mind and the promises i have made seems to make it worse.. it stirs me, what am i doing.. talking about it, jus dun seem to relax me.. the psychological barrier seems to overshadow every other things..

hearing tis may sound funny, but i jus seem to have lost faith in myself, jus can’t and dunno where to pick myself.. probably with so much changes to cope in life, i must say i ain’t doing too well.. low adaptability for change.. iszit time for a break.. a little exhausted… a closed friend ask me this, are u happy in wat  u do.. if u had ask me earlier, i would confidently say yes, but now, happiness jus dun come first le.. it is more of worry, uneasy and committement tat come into the pic..

really dunno how can i pull through the time to come.. i need a pill or jus a light to guide me, or jus a foot step to walk beside me…

things tat is nice come with a price to pay..

hmm jus wach a ballet documentary off youtube..

ballerina can dance, prance and spin..

but the torture to the feet is horrible, and the training is tough..

dun care.. die die will go catch the performance by Russian ballet..haha

Anyway, saw u online, didn’t have the mood to talk to u.. for tat i apologise..hee..haha.. ops..

got to go

hmm is 1.48 am..

still not sleeping.. dunno why.. but i am in a mixed mess..lalala..

if.. one hundred if..

but still glad and happy.. finally heard from u, seem so long before hearin from u..

glad tat u are still alive and kicking (like how u put it..)

really miss having u arnd..haha..  so long no see and hear..

sorry if i worried u.. but i think i have put the mess i created straight.. although may not be so fun from now on but i am still glad tat i have gotten over it.. thanks for the words of encouragement, really give me the strength to move on.. man thanks for always being dere when i need advise..

but come to think of it, i am really lucky.. i mean i have got daddy and mummy who love me more than anything, i got a elder sister who love me and endure my crap..hahah.. and a younger brother for me to love him.. a A* class and class mates and friends, a fabulous CCA and cca mates, a great bunch of teachers/lecturer, a superb grp of religious class seniors and friends, and a grp of happy friends, and i am healthy and kicking alive, i have almost everything i need and want.. 

and come to think of it, i am really lucky, who get to go travelling twice a year..haha.. i mean earlier tis yr went aus, then during tis hols when taiwan, come to think of it, i am lucky, and thanks to daddy and mummy for giving me so much, more than any kids arnd.. and also thanks to god.. thank you for loving me so much.. giving me everything, almost till perfection.. although there are still certain imperfection, but thanks for still loving me.. 

than come to think of it, the onli think i lack is LOVE… 

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

haha.. but guess this imperfection jus got to wait.. tilll he come .. but glad to have everyone else.. think all of u is impt to me.

next part of the post must be highlighted if u wish to read.. but i suggest those who dun want to know and have a bad week pls dun read.. the story will begin will 2 baboons..

ready…??

suddenly remember the two baboons..some of u may wonder why i had such a bad and emo week, reason was which i didn’t go the poly forum and got scolded by 2 baboons namely, JUNE AND FAITH from SDAR OFFICE..damn, even the hard to please, MR A say its ok and they can write it off, why must they scream at me.. esp june, the smug on ur face when u scolded me.. damn..watch out.. 

hmm.. really feel like slapping them, trip em, and shove them.. eww… baboons.. how much u scolded me, i will remember it, erm, one fine day will make u pay for it.. and when i mean it, means i meant it.. idiot baboons.. remember how u said that how irresponsible i am.. u wait..
can’t stand it.. when u all materalise me.. come on, a forum maybe impt but to me, taiwan trip was jus as impt, even more impt ba.. U say that is because i want to see taiwan and not go for pre fourm is becoz oversea experience is jus more attractive.. True enough, but i won’t be stupid, if i want to jus enjoy the oversea experience i would not have went taiwan, been there twice..but rather i went to taiwan to enjoy the company.. say if it was not for this grp of friends and taiwanese, why would i still pay to visit..u say tat i am stupid for me to miss the forum and went for the trip, but let me tell u both, if i missed the taiwan trip i would have been even dumber.. if i never went, will never find out those who really love me, and in the forum i have onli know ppl who Ra Rah, can’t even do simple things well..
hmm really dunno why, how can both of u baboons say such things.. simply jus detest both of u.. and u all say i went to see u all for CCA points and so i can resume my cca club activity.. yes.. but is because i love my club and dun want to u all to ruin the club.. haha..

come to think of it, thank to Mr Alan and Mr A.. thanks to both of u, who jus give me the trust, without anything.. although Mr A, u are still NATO, but guess it mean a lot to me when i needed it.. and to Mr Alan thanks many..

damm.. what am i doing. let them spoil my day.. assholes.. jus wait.. i won’t let u all get away..haha.. evil me..

GOSH.. OH NO

THE BELOW CHINESE abstract, is suppose to be A creation for nobody..

JUS SOME RANDOM nice words, tat i thread it up..